Trying to organize my thoughts less than a month before moving out of the country is nearly impossible...there's just too much to think about! Firstly, I love being in new places. I love travel and culture and learning new things. I know that this next year will be life changing in that regard and for that I can't wait.
But there is a lot of fear. And emotion. It's also Christmas, which makes me a bit more emotional than usual anyway. There's figuring out what to pack and what to leave behind. There's learning a new language and leaving behind beloved American food. There's saying goodbye to family and friends and our first little apartment. And did I mention fear?
I'm often asked if I want to back out. And I would be lying if I said it doesn't cross my mind. There are days when the thought of missing holidays with family and not going to Target for a year stop me in my tracks (I'm not kidding about the Target thing). I'm only 24 and I'm not claiming to be wise, but if I've learned anything, it's that fear cannot determine my choices. Caution, yes. Fear, no. If I would've let fear rule my life, I would've never picked up a horn and played in Carnegie Hall. Or traveled to China. Or moved to Chicago and met my husband. It's when I've pushed fear aside and gone for it when I've truly lived. And I'm going to do that again. So this next year will be different. Yes I know you have to be a bit crazy to do this sort of thing. But more importantly, you need to be brave. And that's not a bad trait to possess, right?